Gone...

Today is January 27th, 2009

Have you ever lost someone so close to that wen u think about the fact that they're gone you cry so hard your eyes hurt???

You continually ask why they were taken from you??? Because in your eyes they were the best thing in your life...to you that was a angel on earth...no one can/could compare to them???

No matter what the problem whether it be big, small, round, square...they always gave you the best advice they could but whether or not it was good advice you thought that was the best advice you've ever heard???

If everytime you think of them and your eyes tear up with tears of joy and pain but no one understands how bad it hurts wen you think of them so they tell you to be strong or not to think about it...

Ppl will tell you that it's been long enuff that they've been gone...and to then say no offense but it's time to move on...

On my right arm are two dates pearched above and below a cross with the name Furman in cursive writing under neath that....

the two dates are 8-27-29 and...

January 25th, 2001

January 25, 2001 was the day my grandfather Furman Brown left this world...

I remember that day like it was yesterday...I was at school and didn't have a care in the world it wasn't that bad of a day really...He passed in mid-day i believe while i was at school. I think my mom didnt want to upset me at school so she didn't come and get me until school let out and she picked me up. I remember getting in that 1998 Jeep Cherokee and without even lookin g at my mom beginnning to tell her about my day...As i was in mid sentence i looked over at her and saw the tears and she told me...soon after the tears poured down my face also...i cried so hard my eyes turned red and bags grew underneath my eyes. I couldn't control them. After i cried myself to sleep and woke up the next day i cant remember whether or not i went to school th enext day or not but i remember the day we buried him. My cousins and aunt and uncle flew in from cali, and all the rest of my family was there. We were at St. Josephs church in Largo, MD. Wen we first got there all of us (my cousins) were speechless and didnt want to say anythang...the funneral begin and i remember people trying to go up to the alter and say a few words about him...but no one could hold their composure and finish what they had to say...

Yes he did have that much of an impact on the people he met...he was that great of a man, just like anyone else he made mistakes but in my eyes i never saw them...ever. I was really young at that time and always thought he did nothing wrong at all he was just a real life saint. to this day i dont remember any1 having a bad idea of him...

Everyday i think about him and it does make me sad and it makes me happy that i can remember him...I will never forget him, he's impacted my life to much to ever forget, if it wasn't for him i prolly wouldnt even be here.

They say that time stops for no one and it goes by like that...but they tell you if you write it down it'll make it seem longer and you'll remember more...I blog because of this...

No one last forever i know but wat if they could last just as long as you last??? would that be good enuff??? Enough said about things that'll never happen because wat is done is done...I guess God had a bigger plan for him and he felt he has done all he could do for our world...i mean he's one man thats done more in one day then others have they whole life...

Furman Brown you will forever be missed and loved by me at the least...

Now as i sit here typing this expert for you today because 2days ago i couldn't bring myself to write it...i cry...i cry as i type every word here tears run down my face because i miss you so much that you'll never know...

Dear God,

I know you don't mean to hurt me as you carry out your daily duties and you do the things that you kno will make me stronger. I jus ask that you take care of my grandfava. Although is he is in a better place i hope you make it so he can still do the things he loved doing. Eating Sweets lik cakes, pies, and cookies, walking to where ever his heart wanted to take him no matter what the weather was, watching his soap operas (man did he love soap operas, probably y my ma loves them mayb it makes her feel closer to him also?), sleeping boy did he love sleeping, and cooking(wasnt always the best food but hey you werent hungry anymore lol. Jus please God give him a happy life and may he continue to watch over me...and to never forget me because i will never forget him.

Amen

Last night i saw u in my dreams....

now i can't wait to go to sleep...

and this life is all a dream...

and my real life starts when i go to sleep....

-"Hey Mama 2009" by Kanye West

-Aye E

Until the day where we meet again...i love you