Respect for the title plz cuz wat im bouta put down is REAL truth man...
I've been off da market for almost two years wit a young lady. Wen shit first started out neither of us lied we was doin our own thang. But as time went on we stopped and dropped da ova joints we each had. Wen we were finally alil intune with each ova somethings happen we ended up breaking up. N we dont break up to make we break up to break up. So we stopped talkin for about a month i aint hear from her and i wuldn't say nuttin to her cuz i knew i wasin da wrong. But my bday came around and i heard from her nuffin to serious jus a hello happy birthday and a goodbye. Cut me deep lik surgery nobullshit. A month later we get back to talkin and she has something to tell me. She pregnant wit some ova nigga baby. At dat time i had one decesions to make leave or stay. Most people talk dat shit and say fuck dat i wulda left man woo woo woo but wen u really down to da bottom of your heart love someone u take em FLAWS AND ALL. (something she dont understand)
Leme explain flaws and all...
Flaws and all means you understand that this is who they are it's not perfect but you cope with it and try to make shit work and try to find ways so it is no longer a flaw but jus something they do and you find away to make it not a flaw in your own eyes. Wen u try to change someone over and over again it doesnt work and will never work believe me i know. The thing about humans that makes us different from animals is we can make adjustments to obstacles so we can surpass them.
PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THAT
Now back to the story...
I took her back we went thru da 9months she had da baby woo woo woo she adorable jus lik her mother. Throughout this whole pregnancy we had problems though we'd be good one day and terrible anotha. It was throwing us both off track cuz we both aint kno how to handle our relationship and her situation. Now here we are 4months after the baby's birth. and we're worse den we eva have been before. Now today and last nite wen we talked i felt guilty about everythang and bad but after speaking with a couple people who arent just my friends but hers also gave their honest opininons and although no one every likes to take the blame which makes things between people extra hard thats what happen here. Wen you create a situation not jus pregnancy any siuation man you needa find a way to cope with it and make shit flow. You cant have your cake and eat it too...like you needa to work with some1 especially if dat person made a sacrifice to stay wit you afta all they done been through like aint nobody askin you to kiss noone feet just be smart about shit and seein how you are affeccting others with your decesions...i mean afta everytime i fucked up and you got mad wuld u wana hear "i mean i sometimes just dont think about stuff like i should i dont be using my common sense sometimes"? I kno u reading this to so u kno wat i'm talkin bout. The truth of the matter is you have to give alil bit more because of your situation. And because of ur situation i'm out in da streets where you dont want me to be cuz you aint got time for me like you forgot your watch. And then wen you actually feel lik hangin out wit me you get mad if i don't have time to do it or wen u wana talk to me but i'm out all day cuz you culdn't speak to me all day. Remember i told you i was thinnkin bout goin away next year for school i wasn't jokin i feel like maybe school will make me think about spendin time with you less and it will b out my mind cuz why shuld i worry bout spendin time with someone who never asks me too spend time with them??? riddle me that.
There's no doubt that i love you and theres no doubt that you dont love me but i dont think we ready to love each other anymore...and dats sad as fuck because outta every1 we kno da one thing they always say about us is how cute we are and how amazed they are at our relationship.
Guess you wasnt that amazed...
guess i didnt care enuff...
No such thang as pointing fingers but if not leme be the first to say that I LOVE YOU with all my heart and maybe oneday this relationship will work but it seems to me dat your not ready for this...and like everyone told you i'm not your average joe and it takes work to understand me...I'm lik a rubix cube I'm hard to crack but easy to understand. But i hope you the best in everythang you do and everythang kamiya do also. I hope you all your dreams come true and you live your life with nuffin but happiness realtalk and evidently that begins with the subtraction of me...but thats your work in progress and i hope you find what you what and need and life...
Lik i said before i won't forget i got a star dat wont let me forget anyway and thats permanant...but so long for now until the next lifetime but i culdn't see em coming down my eyes so i hada make my blog cry.
B
E, you have been right beside me my whole life or shall I say that I have been right beside you your whole life. Needless to say, you have seen everything I have been through & been there to wipe my tears and let me know that I am your fave. You are a very unique guy because you come from a unique family; we love hard, forgive fast & remain unconditional. There is nothing wrong with that. Level of maturity does not have age prerequisite. You both are very young & I don't doubt that both of you have loved each other for quite sometime. I just know from experience that youth is about exploration & sometimes the need to explore and learn counteracts the ability to be monogamous. Also, when you have a lot of repsonsibility on your shoulders (no matter how much someone else has sacrificed for you) you have to focus on what is primary. See, when you sacrifice for someone...you must do it wholeheartedly...no expectation of reciprocity or added stipulations. Expectations are detrimental to any situation.If I could relay anything to the both of you, it would be take care of primary obligations (i.e. school, work, your children...these are the things you should worry about having time for , first & foremost), have patience (for one another), learn that love within itself is sacrifice & it will never be perfect , but it can be perfect in it's imperfection, it (love) only conquers all if it is strong (i.e. no outside distraction & most important, whatever is meant to be will be. Respect, Loyalty, Honesty, Integrity & Friendship are prerequisites for any healthy relationship (i.e. family relationship, romantic relationship, friendship...). With growth & and exploration, you will both learn the organic version of all those contacts. Until then, just know you have a full & happy life ahead of you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww Erik! I love this, it takes alot for someone to post something so personal. I wanted to comment a couple of days ago but I didnt know how =[....i know im lame! smh. But this really was great and sometimes when you cant express your thoughts to someone verbally its always better to write them down so you dont have to deal with interruptions and possible arguments!
ReplyDeleteLove you E-Rik =]