The Update...
-got a new job as a assitant manager at Spencer's...
-money lookin straight i mean real straight my account got bank in it right now...
-car still runnin and gettin me to A and B...
-I got a bunch of Martin DVD's da ova day...(love dat show real talk)
-my dog got spayed and the procedure went well and she is recoverin fine...
-my store opens up hopefully March 4 or 5...
The Bullshit...
Alot is real hectic rite now and my mind is real fucked up...ever feel lik you do all you can for others but dey dont do shit back for you??? I mean 4 yrs ago i wouldn't do shit for no1 and ppl use to always say "damn erik you a real asshole man...if you needed help i'd help you"...lol sike like shit weneva i need something you wouldn't believe the shit ppl comme up with to avoid helpin me back out...I really do give 200% to the people i care about but only recieve 50% back from dem...weneva ppl be like...
"Friend": damn E i need some bread can you help me out i swear i'll give it back
Erik: yea man i got u here go 20 even tho u asked for 10 but u only gotta give me 10 back its cool
-or-
"Friend": damn E im hungry can u go get me sumthang to eat...Erik: Yea wat u want i got you
"Friend": Mcdonalds or Wendy's or Chick-Fil-A...etc.
-or-
"Friend": Erik i couldn't really bring you Christmas dis yr i couldn't get it togetha for you again next yr will be betta...Erik: It's kool young i aint trippin
Young real talk I'm tired of giving to others and getting absolutly nuttin back...I'm out on my own now real talk im doin everythang for myself FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE AND WAT DEY ASKIN FOR IM GOIN JUST LIK YA'LL DO ME...CANT NEVER HELP ME OUT, CANT NEVER CHEER ME UP WEN IM DOWN BUT TELL ME DAT PEP TALK BULLSHIT, MAN FUCKIN KEEP IT REAL YOUNG I AINT GOT TIME FOR DAT MAN...CANT C ME CUZ OF DIS DAT AND DA THIRD SHAWTY AINT GOT TIME FOR IT...
Now For Da Title...
I've been having this dream for lik 2weeks not everynite but every ova nite it seems lik...First i'm tell you what i remember...All my "friends" and my ma n anotha person who remains nameless was all sittin in a room watchin a tv, from whihc i hear my voice speakin...all of em are cryin except one or 2 ppl...Da video is me tellin dem i left out to find myself i left my cell fone and bought a pager idk why but i did...I told them all i needed time to myself to figure things out for myself...i had money i guess cuz i wasn't in da DMV i was somewhere in North Carolina...but no1 knew dat i told dem i was gonna find myself and it was no tellin how long it was gonna take and i wasnt gonna give any of them the names of places i would be...soon i gave them the pager number and told em if dey wana get me page me and i might call back depends on how i feel and if i wana talk to them...Peridocally i would send postcards to all of them and give me lil details and pictures of me while i was away...da dream typically ends with me dying different ways:
1) car crash
2) suicide
3) i jus pass away from bein unhealthy
Bottom line da dream is not pleasant but real talk i really do feel like doin dat for awhile jus gettin away mayb after i graduate ima just leave up and pack my shit and jus dip out for awhile mayb its what i need idk but for riite now ima jus keep to myself and find a path i think i wana go cuz where i'm at i cant stand to be no more but i'ma get back mentally
I kno its been awhile but here's the question of the day...
Dont you wish you could go back to the days where you were a kid and there was nothing stressing you out you were literally care free???
I do want to go back sometimes...especially to the times where me and you were at Granny and Granddad's just hanging out, walking to 7/11, going to the park, swinging and playing on the merry-go-round, snooping through all their old clothes...watching TV in the cold basement on a Hot summer day....like Barbies, Gi Joe's, Big wheels, Huffy Bikes, Lite Brites....I'm mean just pure fun without hassle and worry. Great friends and the outdoors...no true responsibility....in The backyard playing football as you and Jerell beat up Justin and I try to save him...or playing water wars with the hose because there's no pool around...haha!...But at the sametime, I know that life experience and growth bring forth, wisdom, creativity and intellect...things that made me naive then...now, make me seasoned...so no matter how bad it was...[especially with friends, you and I both know I have had some terribly destructive and false friends or associates]...it was always a learning experience ...a lesson...and people lacking the fortitude I had to be geniuine just taught me Individuality , which is important in success...Your mom actually just gave me a 3 hour excellent and appreciated telephone lesson on Individuality and passion. So, yeah I would like to go back because ignorance is truly bliss, especially in childhood, but knowledge , although it is a struglle is way more powerful..so, I guess I'll stay here and become Ancient...haha!...Kepp your head up , E! and call me boy! LoL!
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