Damn who farted???

Lol so i was reading one of my favorite blogs "Return of the Randomizer" she follows my blog i dont kno how to link shit so i'll jus tell you da name of her blog but her blog makes me laugh so hard mayb cuz we kinda act the same even though we dont even kno each other lol...but anyway she posted about TMI THURSDAY'S and it was about farting and sex my two favorite things lol so i'm gonna give ya'll a random story and a secret about me that only me n her kno and she still makes fun of me about to this day...

So one day about 2 yrs ago alil bit b4 i meet my lil wifey joint i was having sex with a gurl(she doesn't read my blog so i know she wont find out and to make sure she never finds out ima use a false name...um Christina will be her name...ps...u kno i've really always loved that name for some reason if i had a daughter thats what i would name her but anyways...) One day i was having sex with a gurl at her house and one thing about me is i cant I MEAN CANNOT NO MATTER WHAT shit in any ohter toilet but mine own toilet...so anyway me n this gurl are havin sex one day and im not tryin toot no horn or nuffin cuz these were her exact words "damn E u jus made me cum" i mean i was gettin it that day real talk!!!! but whole time i was havin sex this first round i had to shit so bad like you know wen you have to shit and it praire dogs??? lol ewww i kno so after this first round i was tryin go home so i could and ake this shit but NNNNAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW she was tired talkin bout can i giv a round 2 but do all the work and im like no i cant...long story short she conviences me so im puttin in work again and i feel myself praire doggin again so i quickly pull out and run to this gurl bathroom while she yells "Erik where the fuck are you goin" i lie to you not i run to the bathroom and take a shit as soon as i sit all of it drops out so it was one of those quick shits lol and then shes knockin on the door and asks y im in there...i quickly reply ummm i think im cummin(i kno the dumbest thing to say cuz that makes no sense) so wen she hears my dumb ass lie she cumes in and smells the shit and runs back to the room! lol wen i came back out it was completely awkward cuz lik was i supposed to finish or jus stop i felt lik i had to stop cuz i dont lik to hav sex after shits cuz i feel lik its dirty...anyway ever since then wen we see each other she jus laughs and says hey erik and i jus say hi cuz im embrassed...true story damn

Now for my secret...

Wen im in public normally by myself i like to fart in like malls or restuarants sumwhere not near me but close enuff so i can c their reactions. I normally hold it and fart sumwhere where i know someone will run across it lol. Sorry i kno its wrong and triflin...but yea ill fart and then watch to see peoples reaction...typically its sumthang lik "omg do you smell that someone farted" or "ewww wat the fuck is that smell" lol have you noticed wen ppl smell farts is wen they seem to curse the most...they always use words like fuck, shit, damn, or lets not forget "omg it smells lik ass over here" lol man i love reactions...i also lik flyers that look lik money on the floor so ppl reach down and pick it up excitied as shit thinkin its money but its only a flyer lol i kno im weird and you prolly dont like me anymore but its ok cuz God loves me so nana nana boo boo!!!

-Aye E

ps dont judge me i kno u do sum pretty fucked up shit too lol